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[ It's normal for someone to say to their boyfriend that they like them and want to spend time with them. That is, in essence, what Kanda is saying here. And yet, somehow, Allen still finds himself shocked and embarrassed to the point his face feels way too hot. He was expecting Kanda to get goaded and bicker with him about the teasing, but this... ah...

His heart feels like it might just break his ribcage at this point. ]

Since... [ "Our spat", Kanda says, when what he definitely means is, "when we were both making out in the greenhouse". So... then... he didn't just leave. He was thinking about it. Fuck, okay- ] I-I was thinking about that, too, but...

Uh???? I didn't expect that from you is all! To say something like that, I... you've gone and given me the collywobbles, you know. I don't think I can eat like this...

[Yeah since they were making out in the greenhouse and Allen pulled his collar and made his voice all sultry for no fucking reason. That time, yeah. You know, every spat is like that obviously, so "spat" is a very good general term to use and not at all Kanda's way of beating around the bush. If he admits he likes kissing his boyfriend, he may very well go into cardiac arrest! Which would be bad, obviously, because he obviously cannot come back from that and obviously hasn't done that before or anything.]

You can't eat? Colour me shocked. [Please eat please don't make him think of making out even More right now.]

[ "For no reason" the reason was to flirt. He was flirting. Allen can give flirting, but receiving it breaks his brain a little. This is the man who got Hellishly flustered because Johnny called him his friend, after all.

He fidgets for a moment. ] For right now! I need t' calm down a smidge is all. Surely you've had those before, too. Like when your stomach gets all twisty?

[For no reason!!!!! There's no reason to take Kanda out like this okay he's Gay he likes Men he's having war flashbacks to the greenhouse and if he thinks about it too long he thinks he wants to Bite Allen (flirting).]

Yeah. You do that to me sometimes.

[Since it's honesty hour and all.]

...hehe.

[ Okay, he's delighted now, actually. He's so happy that he can make Kanda feel like this, too. It's a nice feeling, even if it makes him a little dizzy. This does spur him to stuff his face once again, though. He waits to swallow before speaking, of course. He's going to do his best to not talk with his mouth full while on a date. ]

Then I'll do my best to make you feel that more~! Maybe you'll be calmer with your stomach in knots or something?? [ Again, he's teasing. He is beaming at Kanda from that reveal, though. ]

Tch. I fucking won't, thanks though.

[He will not be calm. In fact—]

The more you try to rile me up, the more I feel feisty around you. And yes, "stomach in knots" counts as riling me up.

[Kanda, can you just like... admit that you're a little horny sometimes. Can you please.]

[ Allen is definitely taking “riled up” as “wanting to fight” so— ]

If anything I do counts to you wanting to swing a punch at me, then isn’t it better to not do that stuff.

[ He reaches in the basket for another sandwich. ]

[Grouchy grouchy grouchy:]

I don't want to punch you. It's... I'm bad at this shit, and my first instinct when you do anything is violence.

[Yes he knows this is bad this is why he's so flustered though, he doesn't have an outlet and so he has to feel his emotions.]

[ “Isn’t that why you wanted to beat the shit out of me when you and Johnny found me?” he wants to ask, but ultimately keeps to himself about it. He… recognizes that Kanda is being open. And that he’s literally admitting that most things get translated through a violence filter. ]

Don’t say you’re bad at this. You’re just new to it. I am, too, so it’s gonna be clumsy and bad. But… so long as we both know that, then it should be okay, right? We can tell each other how we’re feeling, and we can go from there.

[ Though, he’s still not convinced Kanda doesn’t want to just punch him all the time. But, as he said before, he’d also wanted to punch Alma so…????

Ugh. He doesn’t know how to make the punchy feeling into affection feeling, though. He barely knows how to do any of this. Shouldn’t he be doing something romantic? Isn’t that what dates are supposed to be about?

He contemplates this as he eats his food. ]

Besides… our kisses have been real nice. So you’re not bad at that.

[Violence is his love language. He likes their stupid wrestling matches. He didn't like stabbing Allen with Mugen but they both know he's going to be hung up on this for the rest of his goddamn life. But he likes the way they tussle and roll around together, whether it's a serious thing or not. He thinks something's wrong with him.

Kanda slowly knocks their shoulders together and continues eating.]

I think you're biased.

[...]

I like them too.

Maybe~! I think I'm allowed to be biased.

[ He leans his head over to press a little kiss against Kanda's cheek while he's here, pulling away with a big smile. ]

Good! Because you're going to be getting heaps more of them. It would be a right shame if you didn't enjoy it.

[It's so hard to be forward... he has no idea how Allen does it. Kanda would say it gives him hives if that weren't a blatant fucking lie.

Anyway, his cheeks are dusted pink again. Thankssss.]

You'd know if I didn't like it.

[Is all he says, still awkward as hell, as he's finishing off the sandwich he ate.]

[ He smiles brightly at him here, reaching over to tuck some of Kanda's hair behind his ear. Food can wait, he wants to admire his dumb as hell boyfriend. ]

You're cute. In general, I mean, but especially when you blush. [ Perhaps because it's a way for Allen to read him, when he's otherwise pretty unreadable? He isn't sure, but... he gently brushes his thumb over Kanda's cheek. ] Sometimes I worry that I've said "I love you" to you too soon. That you might not believe it, considering how we've been before, but I hope you know that I do. That I now always want to let you know that you live in my heart.

[ Sorry, Kanda. You picked this one, which means you gotta deal with him when he's feeling soft and mushy. ]

[Be SO nice to him be SO patient with him he's STUPID he's STRUGGLING— Allen is tucking his hair back behind his ear and brushing over his cheek and he swears to God he's about to go into cardiac arrest. Help. Can his seal heal stupidity because—]

I. [...] Idiot.

[He has big feelings for Allen and all of them come out as insults.]

I'm not stupid. I know. Obviously you spilled your guts to me after that stupid game in the inn.

I don't understand how you can say so much embarrassing shit so easily.

I didn't say you were stupid. [ His free hand is reaching to find Kanda's so he can hold his hand. ] I just know it's not always easy to accept just a... loaded feeling from someone. Like love.

[ It was hard for Allen to. For a long time. It's why he pushed people away like he did. It's why he questioned why he was unable to reciprocate feelings he received from people at all... Even now, he's so certain he's not "loving" as much as he "should". But he wants to. So badly, he wants to. ]

Do you think I'm saying this easily? [ He lifts Kanda's hand here and turns it around to flatten his palm against Allen's chest, where his heart is beating a bit faster than it should be. ] Just because I'm saying what I'm thinking, does not make this easy, Kanda.

[And now they're holding hands. ...and now Allen's moved his hand to rest over his heart oh God help Kanda has no idea what to do now. Instead of doing something substantial, he just sort of curls his fingertips inwards and properly grips Allen's sweater.

Don't mind the smoke coming out of his ears.]

Yes. I don't fucking get it.

[But he's moving closer anyway, still with his hand on Allen's chest.]

I don't even know how to begin doing that. I think I'd shrivel up and die the second I tried.

You don't have to say anything, then. Words have never been your strong suit, I'm aware. [ He chuckles, tilting his head as his soft silvers scan Kanda's face inquisitively. Or... maybe just to invite him closer? Allen's set aside his food for now, anyway. ] Actions have always been easier for you.

So, then, what do you feel like doing?

[If he sort of kind of maybe (definitely) crawls up into Allen's space and kneels in front of him, still clinging to the front of his shirt.

Yeah, he's never been a words person. Words are difficult. Kissing Allen is easy, somehow, despite the fact it's actually also difficult. Saying you love someone is difficult. Everything's goddamn difficult. But pressing their lips together feels right, like he can get his emotions out without having to try to find the words to speak them into tangibility.

This is what he feels like doing, actually. Thanks.]

[ Great! Fantastic!!! Allen is totally fine with this. 1000/10, no notes-

He does gently put a hand over Kanda's trying to ease his grip a little (please don't ruin his new vest, he likes this outfit-), but ultimately just trying to soothe the best he can. He is more than willing to let Kanda kiss him, huffing a little, delighted laugh as their lips meet, though. He closes his eyes and tilts his head just enough that their lips fit together just a little better.

So, their first date is a success, probably- ]

[It's a success! They've eaten like 1/4th of the food and are now kissing. This is probably for the best, because Kanda's mouth is only good for hurling insults and kissing Allen. And he's... really trying not to hurl insults on a date, since it was his fucking idea and he knows better.

It's a fucking war of attrition with him.

He moves his hands instead to Allen's waist and sort of tries to drag the other man closer mid-liplock. If Allen ends up in his lap then oops.]

[ Allen will not complain about ending up in Kanda’s lap, but he is a little surprised by it. There’s a brief hitch of his breath, but it passes by fast as he settles. He does not sit — he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to — so he just hovers over Kanda his his knees on either side of him and craning his neck down to continue kissing him. ]

[It's easier to kiss when they're close like this. Easier still when he can wrap his arms around Allen's waist and cross his wrists behind the smaller man.

...and then nudge him down into a sit, if he can.]

Why are you hovering over me?

[Sit. Sit, this is easier, you asked him what he wanted to do and the answer is swap spit—]

[ Hhhhh ]

I… I just… wasn’t sure if…

[ Allen pauses, then lowers himself so that he is properly sitting in Kanda’s lap. It’s… uh. Weird. Like he’s straddled this man before, but under the context of aggression. Now it’s… embarrassing. ]

…Is this okay?

Edited 2026-03-30 04:43 (UTC)

...

[Okay yeah this is mega embarrassing. Christ. But this was his idea and he likes being this close and it's easier to kiss and they're alone technically, so it's... It's fine? He thinks?

Lord, it's almost like the greenhouse all over again but without the pretense of them mauling each other with dirt and pottery.]

...yeah. This is okay.

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