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[If he sort of kind of maybe (definitely) crawls up into Allen's space and kneels in front of him, still clinging to the front of his shirt.

Yeah, he's never been a words person. Words are difficult. Kissing Allen is easy, somehow, despite the fact it's actually also difficult. Saying you love someone is difficult. Everything's goddamn difficult. But pressing their lips together feels right, like he can get his emotions out without having to try to find the words to speak them into tangibility.

This is what he feels like doing, actually. Thanks.]

[ Great! Fantastic!!! Allen is totally fine with this. 1000/10, no notes-

He does gently put a hand over Kanda's trying to ease his grip a little (please don't ruin his new vest, he likes this outfit-), but ultimately just trying to soothe the best he can. He is more than willing to let Kanda kiss him, huffing a little, delighted laugh as their lips meet, though. He closes his eyes and tilts his head just enough that their lips fit together just a little better.

So, their first date is a success, probably- ]

[It's a success! They've eaten like 1/4th of the food and are now kissing. This is probably for the best, because Kanda's mouth is only good for hurling insults and kissing Allen. And he's... really trying not to hurl insults on a date, since it was his fucking idea and he knows better.

It's a fucking war of attrition with him.

He moves his hands instead to Allen's waist and sort of tries to drag the other man closer mid-liplock. If Allen ends up in his lap then oops.]

[ Allen will not complain about ending up in Kanda’s lap, but he is a little surprised by it. There’s a brief hitch of his breath, but it passes by fast as he settles. He does not sit — he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to — so he just hovers over Kanda his his knees on either side of him and craning his neck down to continue kissing him. ]

[It's easier to kiss when they're close like this. Easier still when he can wrap his arms around Allen's waist and cross his wrists behind the smaller man.

...and then nudge him down into a sit, if he can.]

Why are you hovering over me?

[Sit. Sit, this is easier, you asked him what he wanted to do and the answer is swap spit—]

[ Hhhhh ]

I… I just… wasn’t sure if…

[ Allen pauses, then lowers himself so that he is properly sitting in Kanda’s lap. It’s… uh. Weird. Like he’s straddled this man before, but under the context of aggression. Now it’s… embarrassing. ]

…Is this okay?

Edited 2026-03-30 04:43 (UTC)

...

[Okay yeah this is mega embarrassing. Christ. But this was his idea and he likes being this close and it's easier to kiss and they're alone technically, so it's... It's fine? He thinks?

Lord, it's almost like the greenhouse all over again but without the pretense of them mauling each other with dirt and pottery.]

...yeah. This is okay.

[ This is your bed, Kanda. Time to lie in it.

Allen carefully puts his arms around Kanda and decides not to give them a ton of time to reconsider things, pressing their lips together for another kiss. Just ignore how red his face is. He’s fine. It’s fine.

Lord, he might die here, simply because his heart may stop. ]

[He's lying in it. He's embracing Allen and kissing him and keeping his arms firm around Allen's waist too. It just feels right. He doesn't have to say that he loves Allen and that he can't stop thinking about him and that he likes kissing him. Doesn't have to say that he struggles to even think most of the time when Allen's here, that the date was spur of the moment but he's glad he blurted it out anyway, that he's sorry he's a fucking incompetent loser at any of this but he's glad he's gotten the opportunity.

He squeezes his arms around Allen's waist and sighs a bit reverently into his mouth. It's so easy to love Allen, and it's so difficult to love Kanda, and somehow he's managed to win Allen over anyway.

Fuck. He loves him too much.]

[ Allen doesn’t believe in loving too much. Allen doesn’t believe he’s easy to love, either. On the contrary, he has no idea why people care so much about him. Especially when most things that go wrong are Allen’s fault. Kanda should especially hate him.

His best friend — no, the love of his life was tormented by the Noah and brought back to consciousness to ultimately meet an awful end because of Allen. Kanda now blames himself for stabbing Allen, when it was Allen’s fault for standing in his way, and being unable to reach him sooner. Worse yet, Allen could have saved Alma if he had only done better. Tried harder. Picked his words better. He doesn’t know. Even after playing that day in his head over and over again, he doesn’t know how to fix his fuck ups.

Yet here Kanda is. Wanting him, wanting to be with him, wanting to kiss him. It doesn’t make sense to Allen, but he also so selfishly wants to cling to this. He wants this, too. Please don’t leave. Please stay.

He hugs Kanda just a little tighter, opening his mouth to invite Kanda in. To deepen their kiss just a little more. Kanda doesn’t need to say anything. This is perfect as it is. Besides, Kanda’s actions always meant more to Allen, anyway. ]

[He can have two loves of his life, idiot—

Thank fuck for being able to speak via cramming his tongue down Allen's throat. This is easier. One hand rises and tangles into the back of Allen's hair, not quite gripping the strands but not being overly gentle either, his head tilted as he licks his way into Allen's mouth. He tastes like sandwiches of various flavours, but when Kanda thinks back, Allen usually tastes like food. It's so quintessentially Allen that he doesn't mind the aftertaste of mustard and butter, when he thinks he normally would on account of how gross mouths are.

They're chest-to-chest now, and his other hand easily falls to Allen's hip so he doesn't go tumbling off as Kanda chases his lips whenever they part however briefly to remember how to breathe.]

[ Allen would agree, if only he thought he was deserving of it. He’s not even supposed to be here and Kanda and Alma were fated lovers. It’s different.

He doesn’t think about that now, though. Not as Kanda kisses Allen now like his life depends on it. God, his heart feels like it’s about to burst. He feels bad now, suggesting a food date when they were going to passionately kiss like this. He can’t seem to care in the moment, though. He’s just elated to be sharing the moment with Kanda. That Kanda wants to kiss him so passionately…

He knows that Kanda is righteously pissed with God. That he does not consider himself religious. That he does not hold faith. This could fool Allen, as he swears he tastes faith on his tongue like this. ]

[Faith is not given freely with Kanda; only Allen gets hymns and worship whispered between their tied tongues.

Sitting up isn't getting arduous. Not really. Yet Kanda thinks to himself that some things are better done laying down all of a sudden, that they could be far closer if he let himself fall backwards against the blanket and takes Allen with him.

...

Yeah, fuck it. While they're mid-makeout, Kanda tips slowly backwards until Allen is effectively using him as a pillow, still kissing him, still forgetting how to breathe sometimes.]

[ Oh, falling—

Allen easily flops on Kanda, trying to adjust himself to make sure the both of them are more comfortable. He doesn’t want to be digging into Kanda’s ribs, after all. He doesn’t stop kissing Kanda for some time, too deep into the passion of it all to stop… until he finally mutters a bit into it between kisses: ]

W-we should… stop. [ Kiss. ] We’re still outside. …We have food to finish.

Mm...

[Kiss, kiss.]

Yeah. Probably. [Licking Allen's bottom lip.] I'm not stopping until you do.

[Kiss. Kiss, kiss.]

[ Sigh. He would put this on Allen.

...

He stays, for just a few more kisses, until he can will himself to sitting upright. This flighty feeling... it's too much for Allen. It's intoxicating.

He's absolutely forcing Kanda to continue when they're home, but for now... ]

Here, sit up. And spread your legs out a little. [ He's offering his hand out to help him sit up. Once Kanda does this (or, well, Allen will nudge his legs if he has to), then Allen will turn around and sit right up against Kanda, between his legs, and gesturing for him to wrap his arms around Allen, too.

It's a date! They should be date-y!!! ]

[ A—

Boy sit? Between legs sit? Put chin on top of boy head sit??? Holy fuck. Yeah he's docile he's sitting like this. He's been tamed. They're doing Date-y things. Allen has broad chest behind his head congratulations.]

You'd better eat all those sandwiches. I only got that much shit because you have a black hole for a stomach.

[Aka: Use this opportunity to eat food because there's no way they don't start making out again when they're home.]

Do you think I'm not going to? Jeez, have some faith in me. [ He's pulling out the bowl of fruit salad, along with a few more sandwiches. He will vacuum these down as he leans back into Kanda, thanks.

He also takes a spoonful of the salad and raises it above his head to Kanda's lips. ] Here. Try this.

[...he feels. Some kind of way about Allen feeding him. He can't figure out the way, but it's definitely a Way that is being Felt.

He cranes his neck a bit and eats the fruit before Allen dumps it on himself. This is complicated. It feels incorrect. It's weird feeling the resistance from the spoon and Allen's hand while he's trying to also not get food on Beansprout. But.

...

Anyway he's going to swallow and not think about how gross being loved feels.]

There we are! Good, innit? [ He puts the spoon in the bowl for now so he can go back to his sandwiches, but he is... absolutely delighted to just sit here and exist. It's... nice. It's really nice. It's a nice day, the river sounds are nice, the rustling of the nearby trees is nice, feeling Kanda's heartbeat against his back is nice...

He's happy. Truly, genuinely happy. It's been a while since he's felt like this without the undertones of melancholy. ]

[Flops his cheek onto Allen's head. Don't talk to him he's holding his boyfriend.]

...yeah. Better without all the honey or syrup or whatever poison you were about to put into it.

[Kanda oh my god]

[ Snrk. ] "Poison". Please. You're going to try it if I ever do put honey in there. Or at the very least, some yogurt. [ which the Brits pronounce "Yah-Gert" like sociopaths-

Anyway, Allen is stuffing his face with one hand and patting Kanda's arms playfully with his other. ]

[*gordon ramsay voice* yahgert]

You're trying to kill me. [Kanda declares, a bit playfully, a bit "please god don't give me sweets"-ly.] You want my tongue to shrivel up and fall out of my mouth.

[...]

Plain vanilla yogurt is fine. [Not pronounced yahgert btw]

[ He waits to swallow before speaking. ] You'll survive one sweet treat once in a blue moon, Kanda. I don't make food that often! You have to try the stuff I make! That's all part of being a supportive boyfriend!!!! You signed up for this!!!!!

Being poisoned is part of being supportive, huh.

[He's being dramatic on purpose. Allen sounds happy, so he acquiesces, talking while his cheek is squashed into the top of Allen's head.]

Fine. If it's you. [Don't sound so put out gay boy] You're goddamn lucky you're cute.

[oops that slipped out]

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