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...What? No. You didn't. What????

Ugh. It was when Johnny and I were first looking for you, near-ish to the red light district we investigated. There was some creep who "collected" beautiful people and wanted to add me to his harem or something. Johnny said I didn't need to beat his ass as badly as I did, but fuck that.

[He shrugs, like this is a normal story and not "nearly getting trafficked or something".]

Fucking freak.

..................................................................................

You were looking for me in the red light district?!

We were looking for you across the entire country, dipshit! The red light district was just one of the places we were trying to track you down in! I don't know, we didn't know, you could have stopped by a brothel to take the edge off or something!

[Huffs!!!]

Wh-?!? Huh?!? Do you think I really am like Cross?!

[ He would've relented if Kanda brought up Cross' debt, but this is too much. He is embarrassed. ]

No, and we were trying to trace a paper trail of debt too, but we also didn't know where the fuck you'd be in general — and no one at the Order would ever think you'd go in there, me fucking included since I bitched and complained about it the entire time, but that would have been a perfect hiding spot! I don't know! We searched for you in every public area we could get into! And a few private ones!

[im js kanda definitely did a few B&Es.]

You're not like Cross, but you have a way of fucking disappearing, I don't fucking know, I didn't want to be there either, no one had seen you and I was desperately trying to escape having women in my face. [Kanda. Take a breath.]

...

[ Allen falls silent for a moment, just taking that all in. Eventually, he leans back and tries his best to look up at Kanda. He doesn't accomplish this well, given how they're sitting, but... ]

You... really looked that hard for me? [ Like, yes, he knew Kanda and Johnny had been at it for months, but... he didn't realize just how thorough... ]

Of course we did. [Kanda says, like this is the most natural thing someone like him — someone so grouchy and mean and awful, "someone like you" as Allen had once said — could ever state.] I wasn't exaggerating when I told you we spent months on it. Part of me was worried you'd be in an area we already searched, that you'd double back somehow and we'd completely miss you while we pressed forward. We were lucky to find you when we did.

[ Allen's hands gently trace little circles into Kanda's own as he looks down again. He gives a tiny sigh at that, shaking his head. ]

Saying it was luck implies there might be a world out there where you had missed me. I don't think that's true. I think... I think we would've inevitably always merged paths again. Not because of fate, just because... it's you. It's you, and it's me.

...

That's just what I think, anyway.

[He tilts his head forward and down a little bit to meet Allen's gaze while Allen's leaning back. It's a bit of an awkward angle, but it's steep enough thanks to their height difference that he can easily lean in and kiss Allen upside-down. Kanda can't explain what comes over him in that moment, it just... does, and they're parting before he can think further on it.]

It's you and me. [He echoes.] Yeah, maybe. It didn't stop me from wondering what would happen if I passed you by.

I don't... really know how much longer I would've lasted on my own, realistically. I could fight the Akuma. I could handle taking care of myself. I could make money and sustain off that. But... I... The loneliness was unbearable.

Which... is just a long winded way of saying I would've sought you out. If there is a world out there, God forbid, where you had missed me... I would've found you.

[ If that Allen exists out there, though, he thinks maybe he'd have had a mental break unlike anything Allen knows, but... it's better not to think about that part. ]

[He squeezes Allen's hands in his.]

And would you run off like you tried to? Or would we have gotten a "hello" that time? [He teases, entertaining the hypothetical just for the moment.] Would you have came out of nowhere to save our asses and then ran before I could get to you again?

[ Allen opens his mouth to immediately answer with an “of course I wouldn’t,” but he pauses to genuinely consider this. He looks out to the running water of the river, just feeling Kanda’s heartbeat against his back as he quietly considers things. ]

Probably. [ He finally answers, only slightly somber. ] Even if being alone scares me, hurting those I care about scared me more. I was so sure — so damn sure that the only solution was to push you all away so that wouldn’t happen. Even now, I can’t say I’m proper convinced it’s not.

The only difference now is that the thought of being alone again scares me more.

Edited 2026-03-31 12:55 (UTC)

[Yeah. That tracks. He knew that would be the answer, as idyllic as it would've been to hear Allen say yes he'd stay and no it wouldn't require putting a zappy little bracelet on him this time. It's a nice thought.

Kanda leans back over Allen upside down again, a curtain of hair partly covering them both thanks to the looser way Kanda wears his hair today.]

Don't run away from me anymore.

[He mutters, holding Allen the least bit tighter.]

No matter what happens. Even here.

[ Allen gives a little sigh, but he’s… smiling. Soft — in that way that conveys more appreciation and affection. He doesn’t respond immediately, slouched just enough that he’s able to look up at Kanda easily now.

Eventually, he picks up his hand with Kanda’s, then guides one of his fingers to drawing an “X” right over where his heart is. Then, after, he hooks his pinky finger with Kanda’s, holding it tight as he gives their hands that little shake that signifies contractual obligation. ]

Cross my heart. Pinky promise.

[Ugh. This man has no fucking right being this goddamn cute. Kanda's so mad about it (he's not mad about it). After their pinky-swear is done, he sort of sits there with their hands like that for a second longer before flipping them around to twine his fingers over the back of Allen's own, sighing like he's so put out by all of this.

And then he leans in and kisses the other man again. Truly, a dam has broken somewhere because this is the most affectionate he's ever been with anyone in his God Damn LIFE. What is happening to him, did his brain fucking shut down?]

[ You won’t catch Allen complaining. His love language is definitely affection. He is so delighted he gets to share it with Kanda at last. Him and Link cannot escape him now, unfortunately. There really is a dam being broken and only physical touch is flowing now.

He grins stupidly into their kiss, squeezing Kanda’s hands. He stays there for just a moment before parting with a laugh. ]

There’s just the fruit salad left. I can eat that on the walk back home, if you wanna carry the blanket and stuff. I’ll even feed you, since your hands will be full~.

We don't have to rush back home unless you're desperate to get out of here. Just eat the damn salad.

[And give him some—]

Eating and walking sounds like too much of a pain in the ass.

[ Hm. Allen adjusts himself so that he’s sitting upright again and cocks his head to the side as much as his can to brush his lips against Kanda’s cheek. Not even kiss, not really, just ghosting his lips against his skin for a brief moment before he speaks. ]

And… if I am desperate to get back home with you…?

[ Unspoken: I’ve eaten while walking plenty of times before— ]

[Ough. The way his cheeks start to turn pink. Allen, you can't just say that. Eating and walking sounds so fucking stupid, and yet he finds his brain not catching up to his mouth before he blurts:]

Alright. Let's go, then.

[Maybe he's also a little desperate.]

[ Allen hums in agreement, standing up and offering a hand to help Kanda stand as well. ]

This was fun!! I’ll surprise you with the next date, okay? Once I figure out what to do for it.

[ Once Kanda is up, he’s grabbing the fruit bowl. ]

[Kanda is up. The basket is empty (thanks Allen), so he just shoves the blanket in there in a ball to throw in the laundry later. After that, the basket is slung over one arm and off they go, to hike back home while Allen eats fruit out of a bigass bowl and walks at the same time.

Kind of funny, that.]

Take your time. This was sort of... spur of the moment.

[ Allen is shoveling the fruit into his mouth, thanks. He is also not moving that fast because of it. He does linger close to Kanda, though, and occasionally pulls him back to feed him a spoonful. ]

Oh, I’m aware. You seemed almost surprised that you asked me at all! It was funny.

But I do want to. I’m right stupid when it comes to these sorts of things, though. I don’t know what constitutes as a date, for example. Like can we just take a walk together, or how about sparring at the dojo? Those don’t feel like dates, but maybe they are???

You think I'm not stupid about it? [He did not say that.] ...I guess it's... we just say we're going on a date and it turns into one. I don't fucking know. Isn't it supposed to be something we both enjoy doing?

[So sparring could easily be a date. That makes sense.]

Aren't there some other pansies here you can ask for specifics?

…Maybe. But, I dunno, we’re kind of oddballs, innit? So I think we just gotta figure out what works for us.

Besides, they’re something kind of fun facing the unknown with you.

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This didn’t show up in my inbox. Bullying.

I just assumed you went to bed

I was up until like 1 dw is just mean

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