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Right, yeah.

[He also didn't get this far, can you tell— ugh, and he doesn't think he has anything nice either. Should he wear his hair ponytailed but down? Or— ugh fuck he can't think of this he needs to shop. This is so awkward and he knows it's his entire fault for being awkward but this is so awkwarddddd.]

I'll shop while you do that. [Thankfully he took a shower already but??? help does he need a second one.] It shouldn't take me long.

[ It is awkward, but Allen doesn’t seem to mind. He’s pretty sure first dates are supposed to be awkward? Especially when two people are blindly feeling their way in a relationship. So, still with Kanda’s hands in his, he pulls them down a little and stands on his tiptoes to press a very quick peck against his lips. When he puts himself back to the ground, he lets go of Kanda’s hands and gives him a stupid smile — only completely smitten no matter how dumb it might look amidst the blush on his features. ]

Alright. I… I’ll see you soon!

[ He waves, and heads off to the bathroom, where he’ll spend about ten minutes giggling like he’s some kind of school girl and patting his cheeks to get himself to stop blushing. This is so stupid. Why is he so happy?? ]

[Meanwhile, Kanda gets up to go shopping and is immediately distracted by trying to fix his appearance in the bedroom mirror, as if it fucking matters how he looks right now because he has to head out to shop and then come back to make a million little sandwiches. Still, he spends a good five minutes wondering how he should do his hair and if it needs to be re-brushed, heedless of the wind outside that's going to fuck it up no matter what he does. Then he does a sniff check on his shirt even though he Literally Just Showered, decides he's fine, re-does his hair into a lower ponytail, decides this ribbon sucks, realises he doesn't have one that matches the teal of the shirt he has on now and takes a breath and fuck he has to go grocery shopping he can't stand here forever. He's going grocery shopping.

He'll be back in a bit with a basket and what Heimr had called "a picnic blanket that's actually meant to be a picnic blanket and not one from your home" and a ton of ingredients for sandwiches, plus some fresh fruit on the side, and it all feels like overkill and Kanda didn't think to get any dessert items because fruit is sweet enough for him, but then he's back home and he's in the kitchen making sandwiches on a long baguette he has to chop into segments for easy packing. Some are roast beef, some are pastrami, some are ham. There's lettuce and various cheeses on each one, but no tomatoes because he didn't want them to get too soggy on top of the condiments.

Part of him wonders if picnic food is supposed to be this semi-bland semi-whatever road food that he could cram into his mouth while going place to place, but he supposes that makes sense.

Anyway, Allen will probably walk in on this, have fun.]

[ Allen will wiggle out of the house through the back when he's finished with his shower, taking the few shells he's saved to go to the store. He goes only when he's sure Kanda is back so they don't cross each other. He's going to buy an outfit! He wants to look nice for Kanda!

Well, it sort of backfires because Allen doesn't have any sort of concept of moderation, and he's just discovered clothes can be patterned. Like, real clothes, and not clown clothes. He's in love.

At least... at least they're neutral colors... so maybe Kanda won't hate their date the whole time. It does mean he comes through the front door in whatever the fuck this outfit is. ]

Kanda! [ ✨✨✨✨ ] I'm all ready! Oh! You're making the food already? I figured we could do that together??

[...oh god he's discovered patterns. He looks like some grandma reupholstered her couch on him. It's. It's kind of delightful in its own way because it's Allen and Allen is just like that, and yeah, it's eye-searing and awful and he loves every second of it. Jesus Christ when did he get this down horrendous.

Kanda grunts out a little noise and looks away before the ingredients slip off of this sandwich.]

You're making me look underdressed. [Replies man who wears Chinese-style clothing with absolutely no patterns.] You can help. I thought I'd get a head start.

It's just a picnic! I wouldn't say this is particularly dressed up. If anything, I'm wearing less layers than usual!

[ He pulls back his sleeves and saunters over to Kanda, bumping his weight into Kanda gently, playfully, as he reaches down to start putting together sandwiches as well. He'll leave the cutting to Kanda, since he's still better with a blade than Allen is. ]

Do you mind if I bring Tim with us on our, um, ...date? [ Whoooo, why is that word are to say, fuck- ]

I thought you would anyway.

[Like, that's not even a question, Kanda just sort of assumed. Like how his golem goes no where with him because it is Asleep In The Chest and that's where he intends to keep it forever (this will not work that long bud).

He'll stick to choppies, then, and Allen can assemble things however he wants.]

I got fruit as a side. Heimr said it was complimentary to sandwiches. [Kanda says, in the tone of "not that I'd fucking know".] And a new blanket, because he said we shouldn't use anything nice and should use a dedicated blanket.

[Not That He'd Know!]

[ Allen still wanted to give him that option. After all, Tim does record things. Even if it's really only ever Allen who would ask Timcanpy to see it again, it's not like it isn't happening. (And, just to be clear, Allen will ask Timcanpy to see their date again. More than he will ever admit. ]

Hmm? Really? But if it gets dirty, we can just clean it? [ Blankets stain, Allen- ] Oh well, that's good! Hopefully, it's big? It'll have to fit both of us...

Fruit is good! Should we make a fruit salad, or just have it as is??

It's big. It's got this checkerboard pattern on it and the material is a little scratchy, you'll see in a second. Heimr said when you're packing the basket that the blanket goes over the top of everything.

[The guy seems very knowledgeable and traditional. Or maybe he just wants the kids to have fun on their date.]

...You're going to put leaves in the fruit? [that is NOT what a fruit salad is]

[ Snrk- ]

No!!! Oh, goodness, well now I have to make fruit salad. [ He'll continue with the sammies for now, but once he's able to, he'll get to the fruit. He'll conscript Kanda into helping him cut them. ] It's just putting chopped up fruit in a bowl together, and you mix them in with... usually some kind of citrus juice like orange or lime, and then something gooey and sweey like honey or maple syrup.

I'll sometimes put caramel in, but I don't know how to make caramel, so we can forgo that.

[Kanda makes a face. No, no caramel, this sounds fucking awful.]

Not too much honey. [...] Or you can make your own bowl, I guess.

[But Kanda! The joy is sharing!! The joy is feeding each other! Stop being a coward and like sweets you ass.]

...You know, maybe you'd be less of a sourarse if you ate some sugar sometimes.

[ Pouting. Eat sweets with him, they're not that bad. Especially mixed with other things!!! ]

I don't fucking like them, I don't know what to tell you. Fruit is the sweetest I can go without wanting to rip my tongue out.

[And even then, a lot of the fruits he chose are things with deeper flavour profiles than just "sugar". Lots of tart fruits and things that are neutral like cantaloupe and papaya. Honestly, it's kind of a summery mix. He knows Allen will eat fucking anything, so he probably could have been a little more thoughtful and grabbed berries or something, but alas, he was too busy trying to find things they'd both like, and Kanda is ostensibly the more picky of the two.]

There has to be something sweet you like. I'm convinced you just shoved your tongue into a container of sugar and decided everything sweet is your enemy or something.

[ He shoves the assembled sandwiches over to Kanda and goes over to start grabbing fruits to cut up. ]

It's alright, it doesn't have to have a sweetener. [ Like, theoretically, it made it thicker, too, but Allen doesn't know how food works. That's Link's job- ]

[He shrugs.]

I like pumpkins and bell peppers.

[Okay, those aren't... inherently very sweet, but he's getting closer?]

And I guess... a sweet soy broth. [And those aren't even Sweet in the Candy sense, they just lean more slightly toward sweet than other flavours.] Does it matter?

No, I'm just giving you a hard time. We don't have to bring anything sweet. You know I'm not all that picky. And, at the end of the day, meats are always going to be my go to~

[ The fruits are going to be pretty sweet, though. How can he make the fruit salad less sweet so Kanda will like it, too...? Maybe he could put like... uh... peanut butter? Eugh. That sounds gross mixed with the orange juice, though.

He'll think on it. ] I'm not a very good cook, anyway, so it really only matters to Li, I think.

[Kanda is fine with the fruits as they are, Allen, don't sweat it. The orange juice is Good Enough for him.]

He can cook around me, or I can make my own meals. [So it's not a big deal.] I'm almost done with chopping these, by the way.

[The cutting board is full of fruit juice and Kanda's hands are sticky.]

[ He! Wants this date to be perfect, okay!!! ]

But it's more fun to eat together! At least, that's how I feel. Having the big cafeteria at home with all of our friends was nice, wasn't it? [ Allen spins around and brings Kanda a bowl over, filled with bits of fruit that he's cut up, too. Not... nearly as much as Kanda, though. Good Lord, he works fast. He'll grab their orange juice, then, and pour a bit into the bowl. ]

[Well, he Is kind of known for chopping things up into bits. The fruit is in the bowl, the orange juice is put in, and Kanda pretends he understands this ritual.]

No. [He says, immediately killing the fucking vibe.] There are too many fucking people there. I don't like crowds.

…Maybe picking a picnic with you was a bad idea. [ He’s stirring the salad to make sure the fruits are all absorbing that citrus taste. ] Surely you enjoyed it when we were having lunch together with General Tiedoll and Johnny?

[Grumpily:]

I enjoyed lunch with you, I could take or leave the others. I don't people. You know I don't people.

...but it was better than being back at the Order, I guess.

[ Allen plops the bowl lid (so handy!!!) on, and shuffles over to wash his hands so the fruit guts are off of him and pick Timcanpy up from the counter. ]

Don’t give me that. You think I didn’t notice you were proper smiling then?

That wasn’t because of me.

Tch. It was, but whatever you want to believe.

[Admitting that he might appreciate everything Tiedoll has done for him (and that he likes Johnny) will kill him dead in one hit so. He's not doing that. Fuck y'all etc etc etc.]

Edited 2026-03-28 02:52 (UTC)

I was stuffing my face, you weren't even looking at me. Don't be a bellend! It's alright to like some people. What do you think is gonna happen if you admit it? That you'll get struck by lightning or something?

Yes.

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i waffled for a bit and decided this was the funniest thing to send. so.