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N-no! But I'm the one supposed to be doing this to you! Not the other way around!

[ He's not flailing anymore, just... clinging to Kanda very confused... ]

Who— who fucking says? [you guys.] I'm twice your height!

[You'RE REALLY NOT]

You should have picked me up when you had the fucking chance if that's what you were after, dipshit.

I… I’ve been leading this whole time!!! You can’t suddenly flip the script on me like that — how else did you expect me to react, Kanda?!

[ Are you guys going to yell while one of you is still being held? Like? Are you guys okay,, ]

[Yeah they're fine.

Kanda, having stopped in the hallway while Allen was flailing earlier, continues walking. His grip does not relent.]

I didn't know I was flipping any goddamn script! I just wanted to move us to the bedroom and thought "gee, this sounds romantic, Beansprout'll probably like this" and did it! Would you rather be tossed over my shoulder like a sack of fucking potatoes instead?!

Why are those the only two options?! Is “Allen has legs and can walk” no longer viable to you?!

It is romantic! But this is my job! I’m supposed to be wooing you!

Oh, my fucking bad for misunderstanding that I'm supposed to sit here like a woman and wait to be charmed by you! Want me to set you down and flutter my eyelashes so you can try again?

[At this point, Kanda puts Allen down on his bed. He's chosen for you, you're welcome.]

Let me fucking do... something, for you, I don't fucking know.

[ There’s something about wearing this stupid outfit, with Kanda looking at nice as he does, and the two of them bickering over something stupid like this, coming off the heels of a wildly successful date, that just makes Allen question how he’s managed to do this. How he’s managed to get such a loving boyfriend, even though Allen is liable to go fuck things up. Even now, he’s arguing with Kanda over something that doesn’t fucking matter. And yet.

The worst part is, he’s able to continue fighting with him, until that last line catches him off guard. Long enough to recalculate his thoughts, at least. What is he doing? Why is he getting upset with Kanda? Why ruin such a good day??? ]

…O…Okay. [ Allen is down on the bed now. More just shocked than anything else. ]

Okay.

[Fuck, he's hovering over Allen now and Allen is so beautiful and cute and everything Kanda wants in a man, and Kanda, meanwhile...

...

Sort of brackets Allen with his arms, dips his head, and sighs.]

I have no idea what, give me a second.

[He uh. Doesn't know.]

…

[ He chuckles. This is new territory for the both of them, then. The only difference is… Allen is at least vaguely aware of what he should be doing.

So, he reaches his hand up to take one of Kanda’s, guiding it down to the hem of Allen’s shirt, and gently coaxing his fingers under. ]

You can start here.

[Oh Jesus, okay. This is actually real and happening. Okay. Okay okay he's got this. This is easy. So fucking easy.

Except his fingers brush the littlest bit of bare skin and his brain goes into gay overdrive. Allen is soft. He's touched him before, he put sunscreen on his back for fuck's sake, but this is different. This is more sensual, and he didn't get anywhere near his stomach. For a moment, the part of Kanda's brain that's too chickenshit to admit he likes anybody or anything almost makes him pull his hand back. It's very clear by the hitch of breath that this has just stunned him into gay silence, though.

H. help.

How do you boy.

He suddenly, stupidly for some goddamn reason, shakes his head to clear the thought off.]

Do— you want it off?

[So much for being confident, he had this up until they got to the bedroom. God, he's not stupid, he knows how sex works And Yet.]

[ Allen can, in fact, see the gears turning. There’s a moment where Allen seems to find it amusing, but it is ever so brief. Especially once Kanda asks that. He quickly pulls his hands off Kanda’s wrist, holding them awkwardly out to the side like he doesn’t know where to put them now. Oh, God, had he assumed too much? Between pinning him against the wall and how heated the greenhouse kiss was, he had… thought that this was next…????

Fuck, but, what if it wasn’t? What if Allen was jumping the gun? What if Allen’s imagination was running just a little too wild??? Maybe… it’s a good thing Kanda took the lead here, because if he hadn’t, Allen would almost certainly be going too fast for Kanda, and he’d feel so miserable about that.

Face now dyed red, Allen shakes his head. ] I-… We… uh— Y-you don’t have to!! I’m sorry- never mind. L… let’s just go back to kissing!

[This is super next if both of them could just calm down for four seconds. Allen moving his hands off his wrists gives Kanda further pause, his eyebrows raising before he wills his nerves to fucking shut up and let him do what he wants to do. He slides his hand a bit more insistently underneath the fabric, a few more centimetres of fingertip spread across Allen's skin.

He ducks his head down, and murmurs:]

Allen. I want to, or I wouldn't— I wouldn't have started it. Just tell me what to do.

………

It’s too embarrassing to say it out loud, though.

[Kanda just fucking groans. So they're both stupidly embarrassed. Yeah, that tracks.]

Then you can't bitch and moan if I do something wrong.

[Oh he'll be moaning alright—

Anyway, Allen didn't ever answer him on the shirt thing, so he supposes he's making the other sit up a bit so he can take his vest off and undo the buttons on the shirt underneath. This is Allen's last chance to stop him! He's being brave okay!!]

Try "tell me if I do something that doesn't feel right, Allen". Jeez, are you sure you don't wanna swap...?

[ They're both embarrassed because this is NEW! And... Allen isn't truly upset with Kanda. Again, as he stated before, he knows words aren't his forte.

But it also eases him a little to josh him a bit about his bedside manners. His voice drops it's bite at his next sentence, though. He reaches up as Kanda is unbuttoning his shirt, touching his cheek gently. ]

...Genuinely, Kanda. I can take good care of you.

[Another pause, another look at Allen, another moment where his face gets a little pinker and his eyes look unsure, shifting to the side for a moment before closing. If he leans into Allen's hand a little, no he doesn't, shut up.

He thinks about it, determines however bitterly that Allen probably knows triple as much than Kanda does, decides it's not worth arguing about when he wants Allen to have a good time too and he knows that he'll somehow fucking wreck it... and acquiesces, though his hands do go back to moving, at least enough to open Allen's shirt up and leave it.]

...alright. But I'm not going to just lie there either.

I'd be disappointed if you did.

[ Cute cute cute cute cute cuTE CUTE!!!!!!

He lifts himself up to press a quick kiss to Kanda's lips, shrugging his shirt off as he does. ] You'll let me know if I do something you don't like, right?

[Pretty...]

Obviously.

[It's Kanda, he doesn't think that's a tall ask. He's more likely to say when he doesn't like something versus liking it.

He wonders if they should switch positions, or... or what. Should he sit here still? Or...

...should he also undress? He's wearing something pretty traditional, not a button-down like Allen, so would that be harder to take off?

Jesus fuck does he have an anxiety disorder or something what's happening (no dipshit you're a virgin having sex for the first time these are completely normal thoughts).]

[ Allen is thinking similar thoughts, realistically. Mostly the clothes part. He's scanning over Kanda's attire and attempting to figure out how best to undo it. He wants to make Kanda sit or lay down so that he can sit in his lap, but maybe taking care of his top is a priority. Allen's hands gently run down the fabric a moment, before he picks himself up so he's sitting upright, pushing Kanda back a little so he doesn't headbutt him on accident. ]

...Can you show me how to take this off...? There's so many cords and buttons, I don't wanna ruin it.

Yeah. Here.

[He reaches for Allen's hands, guiding his fingertips to the high collar of his changshan, where the delicate buttons are hidden under the ornate weaving of the fabric.]

Start here, [he tilts his head back to make it easier, exposing the column of his throat.] There are little, hidden buttons in there. Then just go down.

[Instructions hopefully clear, shirt hopefully removed soon.]

[ Allen does as he’s told. It’s not slow, he doesn’t not look what his hands do to kiss Kanda’s neck, he doesn’t slide his hand under the fabric as it’s being removed. It’s very much a “Do Thing Before Continuing” motion. Maybe later, he’ll figure this out, but for right now, it’s very much just taking Kanda’s top off and… that’s it.

It is removed eventually. And Allen puts their tops to sit on the chest at the edge of the bed. ]

I know you don’t need me telling you this, but… you really are handsome, Kanda.

[Look, they need to Do Thing before they figure out how to Do Thing. It's just how it works. Kanda, for his part, wouldn't know to do that Anyway, and so he sits there shirtless and looking at Allen and wondering where on him he wants to kiss first. Probably everywhere. He's had a problem today and the problem is addiction to Allen Walker.

(You're hormonal and in love dumbass.)]

I could say the same about you. [He says, easily, surprisingly easily considering everything.] You're...

[Gorgeous. Radiant. Just so goddamn attractive, even with all those scars that he knows Allen hates so much. Goddamn beautiful.

Kanda's words get lodged in his throat, and he has no idea how to break out of it, thinking so rapidly that he blurts out the first thing his tongue grabs onto instead.]

Everything. To me.

[ Allen has never been hit by a train before, but he thinks maybe this is what that feels like. Allen was trying to be sweet, and then Kanda goes and says that.

Wh… what the fuck. Everything…? That’s a lot. Does Kanda even hear himself right now??

Allen flusters, opening his mouth to say something in return, but eventually just… relents to the fact he’s just going to have to be awestruck here. ]

S…sit on the bed, Kanda.

[He does hear himself and he's embarrassed he just blurted that out, but it's true. Why else would he spend all that time chasing after Allen to help him? Why else would he become a General?

He shuffles down into a sit next to Allen, leaving space between himself and the headboard.]

Okay.

[ Allen reaches his hands out and gently touches Kanda’s shoulders, a bit hesitantly now that it’s bare skin. Yes, they’ve bathed together. Yes, they’ve been shirtless while fighting before. But there’s something different now. It’s… sensual, maybe? Intimate. Intimate in a way that’s wholly outside of Allen’s scope.

He carefully moves himself so that he is once again in Kanda’s lap, though now that they’re somewhere private, he has no intention of holding back. He leans his head to press his lips right to Kanda’s ear, whispering: ] You’re everything to me, too.

[ And he bites the lobe of his ear gently. ]

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