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[Oh Jesus, okay. This is actually real and happening. Okay. Okay okay he's got this. This is easy. So fucking easy.

Except his fingers brush the littlest bit of bare skin and his brain goes into gay overdrive. Allen is soft. He's touched him before, he put sunscreen on his back for fuck's sake, but this is different. This is more sensual, and he didn't get anywhere near his stomach. For a moment, the part of Kanda's brain that's too chickenshit to admit he likes anybody or anything almost makes him pull his hand back. It's very clear by the hitch of breath that this has just stunned him into gay silence, though.

H. help.

How do you boy.

He suddenly, stupidly for some goddamn reason, shakes his head to clear the thought off.]

Do— you want it off?

[So much for being confident, he had this up until they got to the bedroom. God, he's not stupid, he knows how sex works And Yet.]

[ Allen can, in fact, see the gears turning. There’s a moment where Allen seems to find it amusing, but it is ever so brief. Especially once Kanda asks that. He quickly pulls his hands off Kanda’s wrist, holding them awkwardly out to the side like he doesn’t know where to put them now. Oh, God, had he assumed too much? Between pinning him against the wall and how heated the greenhouse kiss was, he had… thought that this was next…????

Fuck, but, what if it wasn’t? What if Allen was jumping the gun? What if Allen’s imagination was running just a little too wild??? Maybe… it’s a good thing Kanda took the lead here, because if he hadn’t, Allen would almost certainly be going too fast for Kanda, and he’d feel so miserable about that.

Face now dyed red, Allen shakes his head. ] I-… We… uh— Y-you don’t have to!! I’m sorry- never mind. L… let’s just go back to kissing!

[This is super next if both of them could just calm down for four seconds. Allen moving his hands off his wrists gives Kanda further pause, his eyebrows raising before he wills his nerves to fucking shut up and let him do what he wants to do. He slides his hand a bit more insistently underneath the fabric, a few more centimetres of fingertip spread across Allen's skin.

He ducks his head down, and murmurs:]

Allen. I want to, or I wouldn't— I wouldn't have started it. Just tell me what to do.

………

It’s too embarrassing to say it out loud, though.

[Kanda just fucking groans. So they're both stupidly embarrassed. Yeah, that tracks.]

Then you can't bitch and moan if I do something wrong.

[Oh he'll be moaning alright—

Anyway, Allen didn't ever answer him on the shirt thing, so he supposes he's making the other sit up a bit so he can take his vest off and undo the buttons on the shirt underneath. This is Allen's last chance to stop him! He's being brave okay!!]

Try "tell me if I do something that doesn't feel right, Allen". Jeez, are you sure you don't wanna swap...?

[ They're both embarrassed because this is NEW! And... Allen isn't truly upset with Kanda. Again, as he stated before, he knows words aren't his forte.

But it also eases him a little to josh him a bit about his bedside manners. His voice drops it's bite at his next sentence, though. He reaches up as Kanda is unbuttoning his shirt, touching his cheek gently. ]

...Genuinely, Kanda. I can take good care of you.

[Another pause, another look at Allen, another moment where his face gets a little pinker and his eyes look unsure, shifting to the side for a moment before closing. If he leans into Allen's hand a little, no he doesn't, shut up.

He thinks about it, determines however bitterly that Allen probably knows triple as much than Kanda does, decides it's not worth arguing about when he wants Allen to have a good time too and he knows that he'll somehow fucking wreck it... and acquiesces, though his hands do go back to moving, at least enough to open Allen's shirt up and leave it.]

...alright. But I'm not going to just lie there either.

I'd be disappointed if you did.

[ Cute cute cute cute cute cuTE CUTE!!!!!!

He lifts himself up to press a quick kiss to Kanda's lips, shrugging his shirt off as he does. ] You'll let me know if I do something you don't like, right?

[Pretty...]

Obviously.

[It's Kanda, he doesn't think that's a tall ask. He's more likely to say when he doesn't like something versus liking it.

He wonders if they should switch positions, or... or what. Should he sit here still? Or...

...should he also undress? He's wearing something pretty traditional, not a button-down like Allen, so would that be harder to take off?

Jesus fuck does he have an anxiety disorder or something what's happening (no dipshit you're a virgin having sex for the first time these are completely normal thoughts).]

[ Allen is thinking similar thoughts, realistically. Mostly the clothes part. He's scanning over Kanda's attire and attempting to figure out how best to undo it. He wants to make Kanda sit or lay down so that he can sit in his lap, but maybe taking care of his top is a priority. Allen's hands gently run down the fabric a moment, before he picks himself up so he's sitting upright, pushing Kanda back a little so he doesn't headbutt him on accident. ]

...Can you show me how to take this off...? There's so many cords and buttons, I don't wanna ruin it.

Yeah. Here.

[He reaches for Allen's hands, guiding his fingertips to the high collar of his changshan, where the delicate buttons are hidden under the ornate weaving of the fabric.]

Start here, [he tilts his head back to make it easier, exposing the column of his throat.] There are little, hidden buttons in there. Then just go down.

[Instructions hopefully clear, shirt hopefully removed soon.]

[ Allen does as he’s told. It’s not slow, he doesn’t not look what his hands do to kiss Kanda’s neck, he doesn’t slide his hand under the fabric as it’s being removed. It’s very much a “Do Thing Before Continuing” motion. Maybe later, he’ll figure this out, but for right now, it’s very much just taking Kanda’s top off and… that’s it.

It is removed eventually. And Allen puts their tops to sit on the chest at the edge of the bed. ]

I know you don’t need me telling you this, but… you really are handsome, Kanda.

[Look, they need to Do Thing before they figure out how to Do Thing. It's just how it works. Kanda, for his part, wouldn't know to do that Anyway, and so he sits there shirtless and looking at Allen and wondering where on him he wants to kiss first. Probably everywhere. He's had a problem today and the problem is addiction to Allen Walker.

(You're hormonal and in love dumbass.)]

I could say the same about you. [He says, easily, surprisingly easily considering everything.] You're...

[Gorgeous. Radiant. Just so goddamn attractive, even with all those scars that he knows Allen hates so much. Goddamn beautiful.

Kanda's words get lodged in his throat, and he has no idea how to break out of it, thinking so rapidly that he blurts out the first thing his tongue grabs onto instead.]

Everything. To me.

[ Allen has never been hit by a train before, but he thinks maybe this is what that feels like. Allen was trying to be sweet, and then Kanda goes and says that.

Wh… what the fuck. Everything…? That’s a lot. Does Kanda even hear himself right now??

Allen flusters, opening his mouth to say something in return, but eventually just… relents to the fact he’s just going to have to be awestruck here. ]

S…sit on the bed, Kanda.

[He does hear himself and he's embarrassed he just blurted that out, but it's true. Why else would he spend all that time chasing after Allen to help him? Why else would he become a General?

He shuffles down into a sit next to Allen, leaving space between himself and the headboard.]

Okay.

[ Allen reaches his hands out and gently touches Kanda’s shoulders, a bit hesitantly now that it’s bare skin. Yes, they’ve bathed together. Yes, they’ve been shirtless while fighting before. But there’s something different now. It’s… sensual, maybe? Intimate. Intimate in a way that’s wholly outside of Allen’s scope.

He carefully moves himself so that he is once again in Kanda’s lap, though now that they’re somewhere private, he has no intention of holding back. He leans his head to press his lips right to Kanda’s ear, whispering: ] You’re everything to me, too.

[ And he bites the lobe of his ear gently. ]

[Obviously they've seen each other naked before. Kanda showed Allen his whole ass like a week ago. But yeah, it's different now. Now he's not going to be able to bathe with Allen without wanting to touch him, which is a new and fucking weird feeling compared to how they've previously been.

Carefully, he puts a hand on Allen's hip to keep him from falling over somehow, and uses his other hand to brace himself as he leans back a bit. He's bitten however gently, and a soft sound escapes his throat unbidden. Huh. That's new. Not bad, but new.

He kisses Allen's neck, since it's right against him and he has to do little to adjust to reach. Kisses, and experimentally drags his canines against Allen's skin, not biting down but rather silently asking for permission.]

[ Permission is not given vocally, but rather he shifts his hand to the back of Kanda’s head to lightly push against him, coaxing him to continue. He’ll realize later that these will leave marks he has to figure out how to cover. He doesn’t realize this in the moment, though, just eager to… learn, perhaps. To see what Kanda wants to do, to see how things feel, to just… explore.

His hand slides down his hair after, combing through it and eventually taking out the ribbon that had been keeping it tied up and tossing that to the side. ]

[Kanda, for some unholy reason — he doesn't know why — feels the need to bite the fuck out of Allen. He will not bite the Fuck out of him, but he sure does give quite a few cursory nibbles across Allen's skin while his fingertips skate up the other's spine to hold onto his hair.

Then, he actually bites, nowhere close enough to break skin but certainly enough to be felt and leave a small bruise behind in the shape of his teeth.]

[ Allen lets out a breath he was unaware he was holding, lulling his head right into Kanda with a shudder. His fingers trace circles now into his shoulder blades. Occasionally, he grazes the longer nails of his Innocence against his skin. Then, gently, over the marks from his tattoo that have stretched this far back.

...

It's covered so much more now than it did when he met Kanda. He wonders if... he caused any of this. If their fights dipped into the finite pool, or if little marks are not even counted. "Negligible" isn't an option when things add up.

He... hopes not. ]

[Meanwhile, Kanda is lovingly nipping Allen and shuddering at the claws on his back. Okay. The texture of his Innocence hand isn't all that bad, honestly.

Bite bite.

He pauses after a minute, satisfied with the blooming array of bruises on Allen's neck for now.]

You can scratch me, you know. It's fine.

[Back to kissing neck, except now he's moving his head a little lower. He hasn't kissed collarbone. He hasn't kissed chest, he hasn't kissed over that long scar over his torso. Time to change all of that.]

[ A bite against a particularly sensitive spot gets a jolt from Allen, that leads into another shudder and a soft moan. He should not like this near as much as he does, but it feels good. He’s supposed to be leading the charge here, yet somehow Kanda’s found his confidence again.

It’s fine. Allen will have his turn to make Kanda lose himself soon.

Allen thumbs over the stripes again, then gently shakes his head. ] Maybe… after I pick up some things from the clinic.

[Don't worry Allen, it will be so easy to work Kanda up and get him to lay down. Right now he's trailing his lips over that long scar, much slower and kinder than he'd been a second ago when he was biting. He can't crane his neck too low, but he can get kind of close to the middle of Allen's chest at least.

He makes a noise at Allen's refusal to inflict injury, decides that this is very Allen of him (thinking little of the seal and all), and simply goes back to kissing. Don't mind him he's a little lost in the sauce here.]

[ As Kanda gets lower, Allen’s face gets hotter. He didn’t think this would affect him so much — Kanda is quite literally just kissing him, and yet, Allen is being reduced to a fucking puddle here. It’s just lips against his skin — not even the overly sensitive parts, either. Yet there’s something so intimate about it, and… Kanda being so gentle with the parts of Allen he hates is…

Allen feels so light in that moment, like he might start floating any second now. So he squeezes his thighs against Kanda a bit, to keep himself in place. His human hand starts to comb through Kanda’s hair, noting how silky it is (conditioner has done wonders for these boys). ]

Kanda. [ He knows Kanda doesn’t like when people use his first name, but it still lingers in Allen’s mouth every time. For now, he tugs a little on Kanda’s hair, to get him to pull his head back so he can look at Allen. ] I love you.

[He pulls his head up, of course. The hand in his hair tugging gets a small noise out of him, even if it's hardly a sharp pull. It feels fucking good, don't ask him he doesn't know. Allen will know that much, though; there's currently an erect dick pressed against his ass.

No going back now!

He leans in to capture Allen's lips in a quick but deep kiss before responding.]

It's "Yu". [He's decided, if they're actually going to sleep together, then Allen's not allowed to moan his last name. He knows that Allen moaning his first name is going to fucking kill him but that's a sacrifice he's willing to make—] I love you too.

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